Well, it is official. Truth be told,it was never really been much of a fight, but Image has now, for the record, totally beaten up Substance, taken its lunch money, and pants-ed it in front of the prettiest girl in school.

Recently, BBI, a toy company, has issued this "action figure," the George W. Bush Elite Force Aviator. The irony of Bush as bold, heroic ready-for-battle pilot, arms akimbo and staring steely-eyed into Destiny like a Brundle-fly of Tom Cruise and Gary Cooper is lost on Bush supporters, who, like their President, never let the facts get in the way of what they believe.

The truth of the matter is that G.W. Bush used rich-and-connected family influence to land him a cockpit seat in the non-combat National Guard during Viet Nam, and that even in THAT cushy, non-assignment, he went AWOL as soon as mandatory drug testing for pilots went into effect... But what makes this plastic, hollow toy even more plastic and hollow is the vicious whispering campaign Bush and Rove orchestrated against an actual, real-life aviator hero in 2000, suggesting that his acts of true and astonishing character, patriotism and loyalty left him damaged goods, and a possible "Manchurian Candidate."

But so long as we are going to enshine and idolize Bush for things that he specifically ISN'T,and lauding him for stuff he never did, we at ItsTheCatsAss would like to say, "Hey! Let's go the whole nine! Let the wild rumpus begin! Let's make us a whole LINE of Bush toys, each based in just as much fact as this flagship one!"

Which is why we've partnered with BIG BROTHER TOYS to issue the new collectable line of MIGHTY BATTLE ACTION PRESIDENT FIGURES!

Let's See Them!! »